unkaglen:

thechristopherglen asked: Hey, Unka Glen! I just want to start off by saying that I love your podcast so much! Now, on to my question. For all my life I’ve always been a shy guy. When I was younger I was overweight and was constantly made fun of for it, so I developed this shyness that over took my personality. Since then I have lost the weight, but the shyness is still here. Every time I get around a girl I get really shy and lose all self confidence. Do you have any tips on how to overcome this? Thanks and God bless!

Unka Glen answered: You bet. Here’s the trick to dealing with anything that intimidates or overwhelms you, say that thing out loud, and then say this phrase, “but I’m working on it”. Take any sin area of your life, any spiritual struggle, it works the same way, “I’ve got a real problem with playing guilt games, but I’m woking on it.” “I’ve been a real procrastinator, but God and I are working on it”.

By saying that thing out loud, you begin to break it’s power over you. You begin to put it under your feet. Remember, the enemy loves for your problems to remain in the dark, and for you to be so pridefully focused on your image, and so ashamed of those problems, that you’ll actually keep those problems in the dark for him. 

So how might this “saying it out loud” thing work in your situation? Well, if you don’t know what to say to a woman, tell her that. Tell her: “I don’t know how to ask a woman out, and I’m really worried about sounding weird with it, and I’m shy, but I’m working on it, I used to be chubby, and it was a whole thing, but I’m just sayin’, I think you’re awesome, and super-pretty, and I’d love to spend some time together, and I’d like for us to go out on a date, and it’s okay to tell me if I didn’t do that right.”

Trust me, that’ll do.

Then, let me give you an exercise. Once you go out on your date, I want you to pull out a piece of paper. On this piece of paper, you’ve written down 10 things that you like about this woman. It doesn’t have to be poetry, it just needs to come from the heart.

For example: “Your hair smells awesome, like strawberries”, “I love your taste in clothes”, “I like your smile, it makes me feel all warm inside”, “your sense of humor shows your intelligence”, or ”I don’t know how to say it right, but to me you’re beautiful”. 

Then tell her that you’re normally too shy to say this stuff, so you wrote it all down, and you’re going to force yourself to read the list out loud. Then read it to her, and then give her the list. Trust me, shy as you may feel, she’ll be happy. There’s something pretty sexy about a person who is pushing themselves to overcome their struggles, and being vulnerable about it. 

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